A Mudlem Melody
Strict and stern
with a mouth full of jellied peas
and a pocketful of lost toys
he really oughtn't be surprised
that the neighborhood bullies and bad guys
found him a delight to mock and badger.
One innocent night, drinking hot honeyed gruel
and watching the one-eyed gorgon
prance upon his video box,
it occurred to him to open his wayward window
singing a solemn hymn to the great and beneficent
old goat in the sky.
Some bully boys passing by thought of pissing
along his immaculate gate
hearing him wailing his catechism
thought what a pisser it would be
to take him with them on a merry little date.
Just a joke, you see, to while a bit of time
until their later larceny.
They took him to the graveyard, of course,
boogey woogeyed and pushed him down
into the rancid rain layering the ground.
Thus planted, he made an awful sound,
a pealing wailing cacophony, so loud, and
unappetized they all fled, laughing in glee
to make it a farce.
As he was becoming quite hoarse,
and perceived his alonement
he lowered his voice in atonement
to the spirits disturbed in their sleep.
Settling down to his new abode seemed appropriate.
You might see him there yet, ranting about the Reaper
who keeps him out in the wet and won't let him sing.